As early as now, I'm envisioning the kind of belief system I will instill in my forthcoming child, and I know that the path I am going to take, being the one less traveled, won't be smooth and easy. Last time I checked I'm not sure what to call myself—an atheist or agnostic, I've already outgrown the days where I am proud and defensive of my belief or lack thereof. But now hereon is the time to refresh my school of thoughts because soon it will no longer be just about me and my consequences.
Surely being the biggest Christian country in Asia, I belong to the small small minority of atheist/agnostic in the Philippines. Inevitably, my child will be very very exposed to the activities, the culture, the influences of these believers. Not that there's something terribly sinister and evil about it, they even include family and friends and even the Daddy, I just feel so unsure if I will be strong and able enough to put very good defenses in her to make her invulnerable and unscathed from these confusing environment. Or will I come on too strong and end up being harder on her than necessary. I'm afraid I'll turn her into some sort of advocacy or platform that I'll no longer notice I'm making it more about me than her. I want to teach her to be logical, I want her to be smart(what parent doesn't?), to know where my beliefs are coming from and also the believers' (and arguments beyond these) until she's old enough to be decided of which side to take. Of course I'm confident she'll take mine :) Wow, it's easier to look at it in the big picture than confront the details like the following scenarios lingering in my mind:
- When the time comes she'll ask where she came from how will I give a satisfactory and non-confusing answer to, say, her 4-year old brain?
- What school should I send her to? Seems most decent schools I know here are Catholic or sectarian and those which are not are also pretty much practicing religious rites and pretty much have religious teachers that's convinced it's their responsibility to indoctrinate children into a certain way.
- What books and educational materials to give her?
- And sure, she'll get volatile and jerky reactions from those who'll know the deal, she'll be judged as the one who's going to burn in hell or whose soul needs redeeming, she'll be missing out on some things like the feeling of being simple and normal, I should know. But I hope I'm just overthinking things and the future will be friendlier for her, for us.
Okay. Okay. It's useless to fuss about something that's not still happening. Better be doing something like doing a research on this subject and next time come up with an informed entry.
Anyway, there are things like the financial that should worry me more now so it's a diversion and kinda less stressful to worry about something kinda intellectual :)
Till next post. XOXO.
No comments:
Post a Comment