Afterlife

My life has been a roller coaster ride and it's no accident, I'm an impulsive and passionate person, I do things at whim. I love and I love like there's no tomorrow. But on the flip side of things, of the mess, all the pain I brought upon myself and other people, there's a kind of beauty in it.

I'm wiser. Maybe we won't agree on what it means. But there's wisdom in mere knowing.

Is this aging or what?

I don't dig facebook or farmville.

I don't hate the jejemons as much as those who are trying to promote them grossly.

My Reader is not getting lots of feeds anymore let alone feeds that makes sense. Grrrr.

I'm not good anymore in masking my moods and distaste even in too trivial matters.

I love double standards when it favors me.

I can feel my anger in my chest i want to immediately spit it out sometimes in the form of acid.

I suspect everything of anything.

Anything goes. But I love a little gossiping and holier-than-thou posturing from time to time.

I can't stand wearing pants. My shorts and onesies are the heaven.

I'm googling health insurace and diet plans.

I don't google my name as much as I used to.

Georgina got sick.

Few weeks ago it's measles, couple of days ago(May 14) it's severe dehydration. Hay, I don't know why my pedia has failed to tell me I need oresol(oral rehydration salt) in handy to prevent Georgina's dehydration during vomiting and lbm.

She had to be admitted to the hospital and it broke my and lola's(nanay's) heart seeing her wailing when the swero has to be inserted into her little hands by the 'evil' nurse. Hay. The lab test says her poop is filled with bacteria.

Then all the guilty feelings come rushing in. If only I were there and not too busy with other things, if I were only more attentive to details, to her diet and to what her malikot na hands has to pick and insert in her mouth. If only so on so forth, it kills me. It came to me that I'm not taking care of her like how i promised to when she's just in my womb.

So now I have to draw out the following plan for Georgina:
1. A more planned diet.
2. More bonding time. Speak to hear more often. Lessen texting.
3. Exercise. Coz I don't feel so well anymore with my body just sitting and standing at the shop whole day. Georgina can't afford to lose me this early. I have many stories to tell her yet.
4. Get a yaya.

Election '10 internalizing

Sometimes I view elections in teary-eyed sentimentality but today, May 10, election day, I have yet to cast my ballot, it's like I'm struck by my own coldness, and the casualness everything appears to me.

I'd love to be optimistic, that's how I was last night while I'm arguing over text with a pessimistic buddy. But today... it's like I don't wanna hear anything about it anymore. Maybe because my bets will lose anyway. Wehehe.

Hay. As much as I want it otherwise, I judge people and people's intelligence based on their votes.

It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Weh.