Every moment feels surreal. Like everyday I'm walking into a fog of dream-ish or nightmar-ish quality. Sometimes there's joy, there's excitement but often what's there is only fear, guilt, regrets of great palpability .
Surely, there is an ideal situation to what I'm having through... I have been waking up to these could have been's and what not's... I've already said my sorries to the one who is perfectly innocent of my carelessness, who deserve nothing of any of that.
Someday, I'll say these words unvaguely. Someday all my diziness and all my emotions will clear up and I hope nothing will remain but love.
Love. In its perfect solidity and pureness for the first time. Right now, it's just right here in my head but someday it will be filling my heart and my whole system.
