Atheist Parenthood, Part 2: Must Read

Of all of the problems that atheists might experience with their families, those involving their own children are perhaps among the most emotional and difficult to resolve. Many people honestly believe that children require religion and God in order to be raised morally and properly - so if atheist parents don't offer that, they will feel compelled to intervene and replace what they believe the parents are failing provide...Read full article

You may also want to check out this forum: http://www.atheistparents.org/

World be silent coz I'm about to say...

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Baby items, what not to buy?

Dear fellow budget moms-to-be out there,

In this time of recession(global or personal :D), here are some buying suggestions you might find useful as I find them to be. I know that it's easy to be carried away by our mommihood euphoria into buying whatever looks cute and glam for our upcoming babies but let me remind you... there are more important things we have to save on like formula and diapers for our baby, education, shelter yada yada. So you may now recheck your one-meter long to-buy list and cross out some of the items or put a “can-wait” note. Best of lucks to all of us!

Baby items that will likely be unused/barely used

• Abdominal binder(Bigkis): Pedias don't recommend this because it's kulob and it may prolong the healing of the umbilical cord
• Baby sling/pouch: Many moms find it uncomfy and scary to use.
• Bath sponge: Because it's always wet, it's home sweet home to molds/bacterias
• Bath support net: Uncomfy and scary to use.
• Booties: Easily removed from the feet of the babies, socks more preferred
• Bottle warmers: Useless if you're exclusively breastfeeding
• Breast pump: manual pump is harder to use, much better if you'll invest in electric one but buy if already needed coz it might turn out you have nothing to pump after all :)
• Burping pads or Gauze cloths: One may replace the other
• Crib: Most moms find it natural to just co-sleep with their newborns maybe you will
• Formula dispenser: Useless if you exclusively breastfeed.
• Pacifier: Don't buy if you plan to breastfeed. Many babies also don't enjoy using this.
• Receiving blankets:
• Rubber mat: Most likely you'll realize that using diapers is more handy and comfy than using gauze diapers so eventually, you'll find no use of this.
• Small bath tub: Better buy the big ones so you can use it for longer time.
• Stroller: Many newborns like it better being carried manually, just buy if you're comfortable enough to carry them around and for your own good, buy the lightweight one.

Baby items you should buy little to none:

• Long sleeves/pajamas/frogsuits/swaddle blankets: Because it's always hot here in the Philippines, most likely your babies won't love being covered. If you will just buy few items then just add during rainy/cold seasons.

• Skin products (soap, lotion, shampoo, oil, etc.): Try first if it will not cause allergies to your baby or don't buy at all (some pedias advice against using them with newborns).
• Diapers: Just buy in bulk after the baby arrives, so that you'll know what size fits(some babies are born bigger for NB size) and if it's hiyang to your baby.
• Mittens: According to pedias, babies communicate through touch, just make sure you cut their nails short enough so as they don't hurt themselves when they scratch.
• Tie-side clothes: Hard to wear and unwear, just buy few. Don't splurge on NB sizes, babies grow up overnight
• Feeding bottles: Buy in quantities if you're sure you're not gonna breastfeed and you're sure it's hiyang to your baby otherwise just buy 2 or 3 pieces just in case.

Source: http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,188955.0.html

Preparing for Atheist Parenthood, Part 1: Worries

As early as now, I'm envisioning the kind of belief system I will instill in my forthcoming child, and I know that the path I am going to take, being the one less traveled, won't be smooth and easy. Last time I checked I'm not sure what to call myself—an atheist or agnostic, I've already outgrown the days where I am proud and defensive of my belief or lack thereof. But now hereon is the time to refresh my school of thoughts because soon it will no longer be just about me and my consequences.

Surely being the biggest Christian country in Asia, I belong to the small small minority of atheist/agnostic in the Philippines. Inevitably, my child will be very very exposed to the activities, the culture, the influences of these believers. Not that there's something terribly sinister and evil about it, they even include family and friends and even the Daddy, I just feel so unsure if I will be strong and able enough to put very good defenses in her to make her invulnerable and unscathed from these confusing environment. Or will I come on too strong and end up being harder on her than necessary. I'm afraid I'll turn her into some sort of advocacy or platform that I'll no longer notice I'm making it more about me than her. I want to teach her to be logical, I want her to be smart(what parent doesn't?), to know where my beliefs are coming from and also the believers' (and arguments beyond these) until she's old enough to be decided of which side to take. Of course I'm confident she'll take mine :) Wow, it's easier to look at it in the big picture than confront the details like the following scenarios lingering in my mind:

• When the time comes she'll ask where she came from how will I give a satisfactory and non-confusing answer to, say, her 4-year old brain?

• What school should I send her to? Seems most decent schools I know here are Catholic or sectarian and those which are not are also pretty much practicing religious rites and pretty much have religious teachers that's convinced it's their responsibility to indoctrinate children into a certain way.

• What books and educational materials to give her?

• And sure, she'll get volatile and jerky reactions from those who'll know the deal, she'll be judged as the one who's going to burn in hell or whose soul needs redeeming, she'll be missing out on some things like the feeling of being simple and normal, I should know. But I hope I'm just overthinking things and the future will be friendlier for her, for us.

Okay. Okay. It's useless to fuss about something that's not still happening. Better be doing something like doing a research on this subject and next time come up with an informed entry.

Anyway, there are things like the financial that should worry me more now so it's a diversion and kinda less stressful to worry about something kinda intellectual :)

Till next post. XOXO.

Excited/Afraid

Now it can be told. In two months, I'm going to be a mom to a baby girl!

Before you begin to imagine an MTV-like scenario where it's sunny I'm walking in a flower garden caressing my bump dreamily with birds twittering. No it's not like that! Far. So much negativity has been felt, thought, and said already. But after the emotions has subsided, what's left is this woman, or this girl, bracing herself for the future, trying to look at the bright side of things. Yes, she will love and be loved like nowhere else. She's finally heading to one direction, she will for the first time be tremendously relevant to an existence of a person.

My greatest fear is that my baby will be born unhealthy and next is it will turn out I don't deserve her. Last mother's day several friends greeted me happy mother's day and I still cringe to the idea, maybe I just need getting used to it. I never felt in charge of anyone before and everything ahead will be a self-discovery as it's the big monster job MOTHERHOOD!

And here's my baby stuff tentative checklist which I just copied from a fellow expecting mom in some forum and modified a little:

Layette:
1. Tie-side short sleeve (3)
2.Tie-side sleeveless (5)
3. Mittens (5 pairs)
4. Socks (10 pairs)
6..Pajamas/ Frog suits (5)
8.Caps /Bonnets (3)
9.Binder (5)
10.Receiving Blanket w/ Hood (2)
11.Burp Cloth (10)
12.Baby Legs (3)

Diapering:
1.Gauze Diapers (12)
2. Disposable Diapers (1 pack)
3. Diaper Clips (2 pairs)
4. Baby Wipes (6 packs)
5. Diaper Bag (1)
6. Rubber Mat (1)
7. Diaper Caddies (1)

Nursing & Feeding:
1. Avent iQ24 Electronic Steam Sterilizer
2.Avent Warmer
3.Madela Pump In Style
4.Avent Bottles
5.Avent Bottle Brush
6.Avent Washable & Disposable Breast pads (6 pairs)
7.Avent Sealing Disc
8.Lanolin
9.Bottle Canister/Storage
10.Bottle Drying Rack
11.Milk Trays
12.Slings/Baby Pouch
13.Nursing Cover
14.Maternity Bra

Bath & Grooming:
1. Hooded Towel (2)
2.Ultra absorbent Towels (2)
3.Finger Toothbrush
4.Comb
5.Nail Clipper
6.Cotton balls
7.Cotton buds
8.Alcohol
9. Nail Aspirator
10.Wash Cloth (5)
11. Baby Oil
12.Aveeno Baby Gift Set
13.Braun Ear Thermometer
14.Petroleum Jelly
15.Safety First Health Kit
16.Infant Tub
17.Hamper (2)
18.Trash Can w/ Cover
19.Sanitary Napkin for mum

Bedding:
1. Pillow/ Bolster
2. Comforter
3. Linen set (2)
4. Crib
5. Cabinet

Big-Ticket Items:
1.Graco Infant Carrier
2.Graco Metrolite Stroller

Wish I and the Daddy could buy them all( Don't mind the brand names there, some of them are just there for dreaming purposes :))