Excited/Afraid

Now it can be told. In two months, I'm going to be a mom to a baby girl!

Before you begin to imagine an MTV-like scenario where it's sunny I'm walking in a flower garden caressing my bump dreamily with birds twittering. No it's not like that! Far. So much negativity has been felt, thought, and said already. But after the emotions has subsided, what's left is this woman, or this girl, bracing herself for the future, trying to look at the bright side of things. Yes, she will love and be loved like nowhere else. She's finally heading to one direction, she will for the first time be tremendously relevant to an existence of a person.

My greatest fear is that my baby will be born unhealthy and next is it will turn out I don't deserve her. Last mother's day several friends greeted me happy mother's day and I still cringe to the idea, maybe I just need getting used to it. I never felt in charge of anyone before and everything ahead will be a self-discovery as it's the big monster job MOTHERHOOD!

And here's my baby stuff tentative checklist which I just copied from a fellow expecting mom in some forum and modified a little:

Layette:
1. Tie-side short sleeve (3)
2.Tie-side sleeveless (5)
3. Mittens (5 pairs)
4. Socks (10 pairs)
6..Pajamas/ Frog suits (5)
8.Caps /Bonnets (3)
9.Binder (5)
10.Receiving Blanket w/ Hood (2)
11.Burp Cloth (10)
12.Baby Legs (3)

Diapering:
1.Gauze Diapers (12)
2. Disposable Diapers (1 pack)
3. Diaper Clips (2 pairs)
4. Baby Wipes (6 packs)
5. Diaper Bag (1)
6. Rubber Mat (1)
7. Diaper Caddies (1)

Nursing & Feeding:
1. Avent iQ24 Electronic Steam Sterilizer
2.Avent Warmer
3.Madela Pump In Style
4.Avent Bottles
5.Avent Bottle Brush
6.Avent Washable & Disposable Breast pads (6 pairs)
7.Avent Sealing Disc
8.Lanolin
9.Bottle Canister/Storage
10.Bottle Drying Rack
11.Milk Trays
12.Slings/Baby Pouch
13.Nursing Cover
14.Maternity Bra

Bath & Grooming:
1. Hooded Towel (2)
2.Ultra absorbent Towels (2)
3.Finger Toothbrush
4.Comb
5.Nail Clipper
6.Cotton balls
7.Cotton buds
8.Alcohol
9. Nail Aspirator
10.Wash Cloth (5)
11. Baby Oil
12.Aveeno Baby Gift Set
13.Braun Ear Thermometer
14.Petroleum Jelly
15.Safety First Health Kit
16.Infant Tub
17.Hamper (2)
18.Trash Can w/ Cover
19.Sanitary Napkin for mum

Bedding:
1. Pillow/ Bolster
2. Comforter
3. Linen set (2)
4. Crib
5. Cabinet

Big-Ticket Items:
1.Graco Infant Carrier
2.Graco Metrolite Stroller

Wish I and the Daddy could buy them all( Don't mind the brand names there, some of them are just there for dreaming purposes :))